Entry #18: 20 hours on a bus from Kathmandu to Pokhara
And how it was so worth it!
I was booked to stay for two or three nights in the Jungle Front Lodge hotel and ended up staying for over a month. Not only that but I’m planning to return after a month in Vietnam for 3 months. This is what we now call ‘the Pokhara Effect’!
it took my friend Desee and I 20 hours by bus to reach Pokhara from Kathmandu because there was a landslide. It should have taken 8hrs (on a good run). We were both pretty chill about the length of time it took, after all there’s no point pissing and moaning when it just is what it is - you just create more suffering for yourself when you complain about a situation that cannot be changed (you can tell I’ve spent time in a monastery now right?). But what did bother me was the moments where we stopped in precarious positions along the route. The torrential, monsoon rains hammering the sides of the bus as we sat, parked in darkness on a wafer thin bridge that bounced and swayed beneath us and other times where I woke in the night next to huge boulders and muddy steppes that looked primed for a rapid dance down the mountain!
Other than that, the journey was fabulous!!
Desee joked that she had wanted to see some of the landscape on the journey but was disappointed because the scheduled trip would have had us arriving around sun up. As it was we arrived around 3pm the next day! So she got her wish, powerful manifester this one!!
We jumped in a taxi and headed to lakeside and both fell immediately in love. I mean there was never a more powerful story of love at first sight than this. There is magic in this place. And everyone we meet tells the same story, of how they came for a few days - months ago.
It’s a hard place to leave and I suspect that the immigration office here is one of the busiest for visa extensions.
It’s difficult to put into words the effect this place has on your soul but it’s a sort of gentle calming, or quietening. It soothes every atom of your being somehow.
It feels like home.
I decided very quickly that I wanted to extend to the full 5 months visa.
So, some of the highlights of my stay so far…
Meeting the guys at the Juicery: this was the very first place that Desee and I went to eat and we bumped into our monastery friends Nuria and Liam (who have quickly become family to me).
That same day we met ‘Backdoor’ (real name Bishal), Sanim and Ameen. Three musicians who perform here regularly. They are instantly likeable, so open and friendly. They are well practiced, of course, at making friends with travellers but there’s a beauty in each of them, different and unique. We like them immediately. Later on we meet Ayush and GD and other more ‘transient’ characters who we see now and then.
These friendships develop and we get to know them and their stories, all different, all challenging, in their own ways. They are all so uniquely gifted and there’s a vulnerability about each of them that’s so appealing. Magnetic, even.
From these guys and others we hear how difficult life can be in Nepal and I’m so grateful to them for their incredible trust and openness. I learn so much about the lifestyle and the culture here. And it puts me on a path that I’m only now beginning to explore but having read that Nepal has the 7th highest suicide rate in the world, I’d like to do something proactive to help alleviate this in some way.
With my own personal history as a catalyst and as a potential trigger, I need to be mindful of myself here in terms of accountability. So I’ll be exploring further training to support me in this journey so I can further support others.
The breathwork: I began my breathwork facilitation journey here in Pokhara. Having only facilitated a single 121 session before leaving home I was gifted the opportunity to use my monastery friends as ‘test subjects’ for a few sessions before a started offering it to the general public and MY GOD the feedback has been so much more than I could have imagined!
Tagaaro Terrace Bar: one of my most favourite places to hangout on Lakeside. Inevitably there are a number of local musicians playing a guitar, djembe and/or Cajon, someone is singing and everyone is welcome to join in. These jam sessions are a beautiful mashup of music and voice and even when it descends into a drunken bar choir by the end of the night it’s still magical. And the dancing, oh the dancing! There’s no judgement and all is welcome. Do it with passion and love and it will be felt deeply by all. Even if it’s a bit shit! 😂
On my last night in Pokhara before heading to Vietnam (where I am, as I write this), I was gifted a blessing scarf, placed gently around my shoulders to wish me well on my travels. It was quite emotional. Mainly because, as excited as I’ve always been to visit Vietnam, I really didn’t want to leave Pokhara. That said, I am actively working on being deeply present in this also incredibly beautiful, zany, brilliant country so I don’t want to wish my time away. But Tagaaro, I miss you!
Jaljala Waterfalls: about 20 mins taxi out of Lakeside (head to Pame and then take a right heading north - a brave taxi driver will take you as far as you can go on this road) there are the most utterly beautiful, magical falls g]called Jaljala!. Our taxi driver, Anil, had never been so he ended up joining us!!
I highly recommend these as a day/half day trip! Apart from the spectacular fall itself, the hike up was beautiful (though a little challenging on a very hot day - especially after a late night and waking up drunk that morning, yes I’m aware that I’m too old for this shit!!) and the swim under the waterfall was sooooo refreshing!
Be prepared for a little adventure in crossing the river under the waterfall, in monsoon it can be pretty fast flowing!
Personal growth: well there has been so much opportunity for personal growth here, from the conversations I’ve had with Desee and Nuria to some challenges in my personal relationships with friends and the local guys - it has been eye opening.
Some things I’ve learned;
To be respectful of peoples denial. Some people just aren’t ready to have the conversations you want to have with them and that has to just be ok. Also you can’t tell people things about themselves as if you know them better than they do. Even if you really feel certain that you do lol!
Putting boundaries with people feels shut at first, and then it feels really fucking good but to really enjoy it you have to let go of attachment - to the person, to your preconceived ideas, to the outcome etc. there’s an element of accepting whatever comes once you lay down your ground rules and knowing that you might lose people but accepting that then they were never for you. What I’ve noticed though is that the right people become closer to you when you put boundaries in place because they a. Know exactly where they stand, b. Respect you more deeply and c. Are inspired by your strength. #winning right??
Everyone has behaviours, at times, that you may not agree with. Know that we are not our behaviours, they are merely coping mechanisms that aren’t always healthy or helpful. Try to understand them instead of judging them before you decide if you want to stay or move on. You do not have to ‘put up’ with peoples bad behaviour but if you choose to stay, you cannot then blame them or expect them to change. All we can do is make choices for ourselves.
You do not have to ‘work hard’ to be successful. This is perhaps my biggest personal learning because it’s been a long held belief for me that I must perform like a workaholic to make a success of my business but the breathwork took next to no effort to really get it going - and it’s low season so in peak season, it will be even more successful. I’ve found that having the passion and the right intention behind it have been enough. Combined of course with being in the right place with the right audience who are willing to ‘do the work’.
It has already been a very productive month and I cannot wait to get back there to continue my education. I’m extra specially grateful now for my time at the monastery because it gave me the new foundation of ‘examining your thoughts’ rather than identifying with them and this is what’s allowed me to ride the wave of this last month - which was really very challenging at times - and to grow through it rather than be consumed by the emotions of it.
I’m reaching my word limit also I’ll do another post including everything else that has left a footprint on my heart…TBC…